An unapologetic guide for readers who are Black, masc, and bi—unlearning biphobia, coming out, combatting erasure, and embodying your whole self

Through cutting social analysis, personal stories, and need-to-know advice, Dear Bi Men reclaims bi+ visibility in a culture of erasure—and unapologetically centers Blackness in a practical and deeply researched guide to navigating life, work, and relationships as a Black bi+ man.

Popular representation of bi and pansexual men is growing, but we’re not there yet: It’s mostly white. It collapses bisexual identity into tired, hypersexualized tropes. And it fails to interrogate the deeply entrenched stereotypes that insist: You’re confused. You just don’t know you’re gay. You’re greedy. You must be great in bed.

Author, peer counselor, and creator of #bisexualmenspeak J.R. Yussuf pushes back against these stigmas and misconceptions, exploring how white supremacy reinforces biphobia and dictates what society thinks it means to “be a man.” He contextualizes discourse around queerness and bisexuality within a larger framework that honors readers’ intersecting identities. And he offers deeply practical advice, sharing how to:

• Unlearn internalized biphobia and homophobia
• Navigate an increasingly hostile digital landscape
• Think about coming out: who to tell, why to tell them, and how to do it
• Fight back against erasure and stigma
• Navigate sex, dating, partnerships, marriage, friendship, and work
• Understand your bi+ sexuality through a political lens
• Process Black bi+ representation

Rich with personal narratives, insightful analysis, and practical advice, this book is a powerful resource for Black bi+ men to reclaim their identity, counter biphobia, and get empowered—and an offering to all readers looking to fight back against the erasure and dehumanization wrought by patriarchy.

J.R. Yussuf is the award-winning author of The Other F Word: Forgiveness and creator of the hashtag #BisexualMenSpeak for bisexual+ men and masculine-identified folks to have the space to speak for themselves and talk about how being bisexual+ impacts the way they move through the world. Yussuf maintains a podcast called Let’s Heal Already, revolving around mental wellness, self-improvement, and emotional literacy. Yussuf secured a peer support certification from the Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (B.E.A.M.) and has used his training to support countless Black bisexual/pansexual men. Yussuf’s writing has appeared in Men’s Health Magazine, Thrive Global, Black Youth Project, Queerty, Queer Majority, Positively Positive, The Good Men Project, Escarp, Instigatorzine, and The CultureLP.